Parent, Tween & Teen Quick-Start Guide: Setting Up AI Safety Guardrails By Age
This handy guide for kids and parents provides practical steps to ensure AI interactions remain safe, educational, and age-appropriate...
As artificial intelligence becomes increasingly integrated into our daily lives, children are encountering these technologies faster, more readily, and at younger ages. So this guide should get parents started (and give some autonomy to older kids to manage their settings themselves) and provide all with a handy way to consider the fast-and-furious AI coming from every which way.
(p.s., did AI help me create this list? You bet! Want to learn how and what to ask to support the development of your own checklists and guidelines? Get in touch.)
In The Guide: TOC »
Safety Settings by Age Group
Ages 5-8: Foundation Stage
Recommended Settings:
Strict content filters on all devices
Direct parent supervision during all AI interactions
Time limits of 15-30 minutes per session
Focus on kid-specific AI applications only
Platform-Specific Setup:
YouTube Kids
Enable Restricted Mode in settings
Create a custom playlist of pre-approved content
Set viewing time limits through Family Link
Voice Assistants (Alexa, Google Home)
Enable Kids Mode or equivalent
Disable purchasing capabilities
Review and delete interaction history weekly
Set explicit filters to maximum restriction
Educational AI Apps
Use only COPPA-compliant applications
Create separate child profiles when available
Disable in-app purchases and external links
Ages 9-12: Guided Exploration
Recommended Settings:
Moderate content filters with regular review
Nearby parent supervision recommended
Time limits of 30-45 minutes per session
Introduction to creative AI tools with oversight
Platform-Specific Setup:
AI Art Generators
Enable family-friendly filters
Review prompt history regularly
Set category restrictions in settings
Homework Helper AIs
Enable citation requirements
Set plagiarism detection
Limit complexity of responses
Popular AI Chatbots
Use specialized kid versions when available
Enable history recording for review
Set topic restrictions in parental controls
Review conversations weekly
Ages 13-15: Supervised Independence
Recommended Settings:
Age-appropriate content filters
Periodic check-ins during AI use
Time awareness tools rather than strict limits
Access to more advanced creative and educational AI tools
Platform-Specific Setup:
ChatGPT & Similar Platforms
Create a supervised account linked to parent email
Enable content filtering at appropriate level
Review usage patterns in activity logs
Discuss potential misuse scenarios
AI Research Tools
Enable fact-checking prompts
Set up source requirements
Review search history periodically
Social Media with AI Features
Enable enhanced privacy settings
Restrict data sharing with third parties
Enable notification for AI-generated content interaction
Ages 16-18: Guided Autonomy
Recommended Settings:
Basic safety filters remain enabled
Focus on healthy usage patterns rather than strict controls
Emphasis on critical thinking about AI outputs
Introduction to professional AI tools with guidance
Platform-Specific Setup:
Professional AI Tools
Create usage guidelines together
Enable content moderation where available
Set up project-based usage parameters
AI Creativity Platforms
Discuss intellectual property concepts
Review creative outputs together
Establish ethical boundaries for creation
AI Research & Information Analysis
Enable source verification tools
Discuss misinformation detection strategies
Create guidelines for cross-referencing information
Monitoring Tools for Parents
Note: I have mixed feelings about monitoring tools, but like other issues I cover related to AI it’s not about advocating for one strategy over another, but giving families the tools to decide what’s best for them.
Content Monitoring
Bark » Monitors text messages, email, and social media for concerning content
Qustodio » Provides comprehensive AI interaction reports
Aura Parental Controls »Network-level content filtering for all devices
Family Link: Google's parental control app for managing content access
Time Management
Screen Time (iOS) » Set limits specifically for AI applications
FamiSafe » Cross-platform screen time management with AI app focus
OurPact » Schedule AI usage during appropriate hours
Activity Reports
Norton Family » Provides detailed reports on AI search queries
Net Nanny » AI-specific content filtering with weekly reports
Securly » School-focused monitoring that can extend to home use
Conversation Starters: Discussing AI Ethics with Kids
This is my favorite section, as the only way we get to a comfortable place as families and as a society is with open, honest and frequent discussions about AI and new technology. Empowerment and knowledge is the secret to success and so hopefully these will help get families started!
Ages 5-8
"How can we tell if we're talking to a real person or a computer?"
"What questions are okay to ask AI helpers, and what should we ask real people instead?"
"Why is it important to be polite, even when talking to a computer?"
Ages 9-12
"How might AI give us wrong information sometimes?"
"When should we double-check what an AI tells us?"
"What kinds of questions shouldn't we ask AI helpers?"
"How can we use AI to help with homework without cheating?"
Ages 13-15
"How can AI influence what we think or believe?"
"What information is private that we shouldn't share with AI?"
"How could people misuse AI tools, and why is that harmful?"
"What responsibilities do we have when using AI to create things?"
Ages 16-18
"How might AI impact future jobs and education?"
"What ethical considerations should AI developers keep in mind?"
"How can we maintain human connection in an AI-integrated world?"
"What role should AI play in decision-making about important issues?"
Weekly Check-In Templates
Finally, why not put pen to paper and keep a record? This is another great way to dig in, cover what kids have used, discuss the particulars, and get everyone thinking in the family about AI and its use overall including opportunities, challenges, risks and unknowns.
Elementary School Check-In
📱 AI WEEKLY CHECK-IN (Ages 5-8)
Child's Name: ___________________ Date: ___________
AI TOOLS USED THIS WEEK:
□ Voice Assistant □ Educational App □ Other: _________
FUN DISCOVERIES:
_________________________________________________
QUESTIONS THEY ASKED:
_________________________________________________
ANY CONCERNING RESPONSES?
□ No □ Yes (Details): _________________________
NEXT WEEK'S AI LEARNING GOAL:
_________________________________________________Middle School Check-In
📱 AI WEEKLY CHECK-IN (Ages 9-12)
Name: ___________________ Week of: ___________
AI PLATFORMS USED:
□ Chat AI □ Voice Assistant □ Creative AI □ Educational □ Other
PROJECTS WORKED ON:
_________________________________________________
HELPFUL AI INTERACTIONS:
_________________________________________________
CONFUSING OR CONCERNING RESPONSES:
_________________________________________________
QUESTIONS ABOUT AI USE:
_________________________________________________
GOALS FOR NEXT WEEK:
_________________________________________________Teen Check-In
📱 AI WEEKLY REFLECTION (Ages 13+)
Name: ___________________ Date: ___________
PLATFORMS USED & APPROXIMATE TIME:
- ________________ (___ hours)
- ________________ (___ hours)
MOST VALUABLE AI INTERACTION THIS WEEK:
_________________________________________________
QUESTIONABLE OR CONCERNING AI ENCOUNTERS:
_________________________________________________
CRITICAL THINKING MOMENT:
When did you question or verify AI information?
_________________________________________________
CREATIVE/PRODUCTIVE USE:
How did AI enhance your learning or creativity?
_________________________________________________
DISCUSSION TOPICS FOR FAMILY:
_________________________________________________
NEXT WEEK'S GOALS:
_________________________________________________Download printable checklists here…
Resources for Continuous Learning
For Parents
Internet Safety Labs 🌟» Big shout our to my friend Lisa Levasseur and the team at Internet Safety labs for the handy “nutrition label”-like reviews they collect for all apps
Parent Coalition for Student Privacy 🌟» Another friend (Leonie Haimson) and incredible advocate for student privacy. Find articles here on in-school apps and, increasingly, AI driven innovation with privacy flaws
Family Online Safety Institute (FOSI) » AI resources
For Children & Teens
AI4K12.org » Organization that covers age-appropriate AI education
Khan Academy's critical thinking modules🔥» a fantastic approach to considering AI, highly recommend these modules for kids
Family Activities
AI ethics board game night
Family AI creative project (collaborative story, art creation)
Media literacy challenges using AI-generated content
Final Recommendations: It’s Just the Beginning
Stay Updated » AI safety features change frequently; review settings quarterly. With the speed of AI innovation it’s not helpful unless families keep the conversation fluid and on-going.
Model Good Behavior » Do I really need to say it? Well, yes, because sometimes my husband and I struggle to model good digital behavior. But to demonstrate healthy AI usage patterns as adults is even more critical to shaping the influence of AI over our kids’ futures.
Maintain Open Dialogue » Keep conversations about AI non-judgmental. The biggest hinderance right now to AI adoption (for all of us!) is a fear of “looking stupid.” If we keep talking, we get over this faster!
Focus on Critical Thinking » Emphasize questioning and verification skills. Again, look for classes like that from the Khan academy and take critical thinking as seriously as other subjects.
Balance is Key » I may think about AI all day, but you certainly should not! Ensure AI use complements rather than replaces human interaction is probably the first, not the last, suggestion to be making here!
Remember that the goal isn't to restrict exploration but to provide appropriate boundaries that evolve as your child matures. By establishing these guardrails early and adjusting them thoughtfully over time, you're helping your child develop a healthy relationship with AI technologies that will increasingly shape their world.
Have questions? Feedback? Ideas! I want to hear from you.