On top of that, these discussions are highly dependent on individual personalities too. So keep trying—there is no wrong approach. A great opportunity is usually when the topic comes up at school or when you are listening to news together.

These are also “conversation starters”—adults aren’t required to have all the answers! The key is to ask questions and just…listen.

Elementary Age

First AI Conversations

• “Have you ever talked to a computer or robot that talked back to you?”

• “What’s the difference between asking Alexa a question and asking an adult or a friend?”

• “If you could build a robot friend, what would you want it to be able to do?”

• “How do you think computers learn new things?”

• “What questions do you think are better to ask a person instead of a computer?”

• “What would happen if a computer made a mistake?”

• “Do you think AI can have feelings like happiness or sadness? Why or why not?”

• “What would you want to teach an AI about being a kid?”

• “How can you tell if something was made by a computer or made by a person?”

• “What jobs do you think AI is really good at?”

• “How do you think we should treat AI, like a tool, pet, or friend?”

• “What rules do you think families should have about using AI?”

Middle School

Understanding AI Capabilities and Limits

• “What surprised you most when you first used ChatGPT or another AI tool?”

• “How can you tell when AI provides you information that might be wrong?”

• “When you use AI for school projects, how do you make sure you’re not taking a shortcut?”

• “What would happen if everyone in your class used AI to write the same essay assignment?”

• “How has AI changed the way you look for information compared to how your parents did when they were your age?”

• “What questions would you never want to ask AI instead of asking a trusted adult?”

• “What biases or unfair ideas do you think AI might have, and where do those come from?”

• “If AI can create art, music, or stories, does that make human creativity less special?”

• “What’s the difference between using AI as a tutor versus using it to get quick answers?”

• “What do you think happens to the questions you ask AI—who else might see them?”

• “What would you want grown-ups to understand about how kids your age use AI?”

• “What excites you most and worries you most about AI becoming more commonly used in school?”

High School

Ethics, Future Planning, and Independence

• “How should AI influence major life decisions like college choices or career paths?”

• “What ethical responsibilities do you think come with using powerful AI tools?”

• “If AI can do many jobs humans currently do, how should society handle potential job losses?”

• “What role should AI play in creative fields like art, music, writing, or design?”

• “How might AI change what skills are most valuable in your chosen career field?”

• “What are the dangers of becoming too dependent on AI for thinking and problem-solving?”

• “How should AI be regulated, and who should make those decisions?”

• “What privacy concerns do you have about AI systems knowing so much about you?”

• “How might AI affect democracy, elections, and the way people form political opinions?”

• “Should you always disclose that something was made by AI?”

• “How could AI make inequality worse, and how could it make society more fair?”

• “What human experiences do you think should never be replaced or enhanced by AI?”

• “How might AI change dating, relationships, and social connections for you and your peers?”

• “What role should AI play in addressing global challenges like climate change or poverty?”

• “If you could design AI policies for your generation, what would be your top three priorities?”

• “What questions about AI do you wish your families and teachers understood better?”

• “What safeguards do you think should exist to prevent AI from manipulating people’s emotions or decisions?”

(p.s., did AI help me create this list? You bet! Want to learn how and what to ask to support the development of your own checklists and guidelines? Get in touch.)

In The Guide: TOC »

• Safety Settings By Age Group

• Monitoring Tools for Parents

• Conversation Starters: Discussing AI Ethics with Kids

• Weekly Check-In Templates

• Resources for Continuous Learning

• Final Recommendations

Safety Settings by Age Group

Ages 5-8: Foundation Stage

Recommended Settings:

• Strict content filters on all devices

• Direct parent supervision during all AI interactions

• Time limits of 15-30 minutes per session

• Focus on kid-specific AI applications only

Platform-Specific Setup:

1. YouTube Kids

   • Enable Restricted Mode in settings

   • Create a custom playlist of pre-approved content

   • Set viewing time limits through Family Link

2. Voice Assistants (Alexa, Google Home)

   • Enable Kids Mode or equivalent

   • Disable purchasing capabilities

   • Review and delete interaction history weekly

   • Set explicit filters to maximum restriction

3. Educational AI Apps

   • Use only COPPA-compliant applications

   • Create separate child profiles when available

   • Disable in-app purchases and external links

Ages 9-12: Guided Exploration

Recommended Settings:

• Moderate content filters with regular review

• Nearby parent supervision recommended

• Time limits of 30-45 minutes per session

• Introduction to creative AI tools with oversight

Platform-Specific Setup:

1. AI Art Generators

   • Enable family-friendly filters

   • Review prompt history regularly

   • Set category restrictions in settings

2. Homework Helper AIs

   • Enable citation requirements

   • Set plagiarism detection

   • Limit complexity of responses

3. Popular AI Chatbots

   • Use specialized kid versions when available

   • Enable history recording for review

   • Set topic restrictions in parental controls

   • Review conversations weekly

Ages 13-15: Supervised Independence

Recommended Settings:

• Age-appropriate content filters

• Periodic check-ins during AI use

• Time awareness tools rather than strict limits

• Access to more advanced creative and educational AI tools

Platform-Specific Setup:

1. ChatGPT & Similar Platforms

   • Create a supervised account linked to parent email

   • Enable content filtering at appropriate level

   • Review usage patterns in activity logs

   • Discuss potential misuse scenarios

2. AI Research Tools

   • Enable fact-checking prompts

   • Set up source requirements

   • Review search history periodically

3. Social Media with AI Features

   • Enable enhanced privacy settings

   • Restrict data sharing with third parties

   • Enable notification for AI-generated content interaction

Ages 16-18: Guided Autonomy

Recommended Settings:

• Basic safety filters remain enabled

• Focus on healthy usage patterns rather than strict controls

• Emphasis on critical thinking about AI outputs

• Introduction to professional AI tools with guidance

Platform-Specific Setup:

1. Professional AI Tools

   • Create usage guidelines together

   • Enable content moderation where available

   • Set up project-based usage parameters

2. AI Creativity Platforms

   • Discuss intellectual property concepts

   • Review creative outputs together

   • Establish ethical boundaries for creation

3. AI Research & Information Analysis

   • Enable source verification tools

   • Discuss misinformation detection strategies

   • Create guidelines for cross-referencing information

Monitoring Tools for Parents

Note: I have mixed feelings about monitoring tools, but like other issues I cover related to AI it’s not about advocating for one strategy over another, but giving families the tools to decide what’s best for them.

Content Monitoring

• Bark » Monitors text messages, email, and social media for concerning content

• Qustodio » Provides comprehensive AI interaction reports

• Aura Parental Controls »Network-level content filtering for all devices

• Family Link: Google's parental control app for managing content access

Time Management

• Screen Time (iOS) » Set limits specifically for AI applications

• FamiSafe » Cross-platform screen time management with AI app focus

• OurPact » Schedule AI usage during appropriate hours

Activity Reports

• Norton Family » Provides detailed reports on AI search queries

• Net Nanny » AI-specific content filtering with weekly reports

• Securly » School-focused monitoring that can extend to home use

Conversation Starters: Discussing AI Ethics with Kids

This is my favorite section, as the only way we get to a comfortable place as families and as a society is with open, honest and frequent discussions about AI and new technology. Empowerment and knowledge is the secret to success and so hopefully these will help get families started!

Ages 5-8

• "How can we tell if we're talking to a real person or a computer?"

• "What questions are okay to ask AI helpers, and what should we ask real people instead?"

• "Why is it important to be polite, even when talking to a computer?"

Ages 9-12

• "How might AI give us wrong information sometimes?"

• "When should we double-check what an AI tells us?"

• "What kinds of questions shouldn't we ask AI helpers?"

• "How can we use AI to help with homework without cheating?"

Ages 13-15

• "How can AI influence what we think or believe?"

• "What information is private that we shouldn't share with AI?"

• "How could people misuse AI tools, and why is that harmful?"

• "What responsibilities do we have when using AI to create things?"

Ages 16-18

• "How might AI impact future jobs and education?"

• "What ethical considerations should AI developers keep in mind?"

• "How can we maintain human connection in an AI-integrated world?"

• "What role should AI play in decision-making about important issues?"

Weekly Check-In Templates

Finally, why not put pen to paper and keep a record? This is another great way to dig in, cover what kids have used, discuss the particulars, and get everyone thinking in the family about AI and its use overall including opportunities, challenges, risks and unknowns.

Elementary School Check-In

📱 AI WEEKLY CHECK-IN (Ages 5-8)

Child's Name: ___________________  Date: ___________

AI TOOLS USED THIS WEEK:
□ Voice Assistant  □ Educational App  □ Other: _________

FUN DISCOVERIES:
_________________________________________________

QUESTIONS THEY ASKED:
_________________________________________________

ANY CONCERNING RESPONSES?
□ No  □ Yes (Details): _________________________

NEXT WEEK'S AI LEARNING GOAL:
_________________________________________________

Middle School Check-In

📱 AI WEEKLY CHECK-IN (Ages 9-12)

Name: ___________________  Week of: ___________

AI PLATFORMS USED:
□ Chat AI  □ Voice Assistant  □ Creative AI  □ Educational  □ Other

PROJECTS WORKED ON:
_________________________________________________

HELPFUL AI INTERACTIONS:
_________________________________________________

CONFUSING OR CONCERNING RESPONSES:
_________________________________________________

QUESTIONS ABOUT AI USE:
_________________________________________________

GOALS FOR NEXT WEEK:
_________________________________________________

Teen Check-In

📱 AI WEEKLY REFLECTION (Ages 13+)

Name: ___________________  Date: ___________

PLATFORMS USED & APPROXIMATE TIME:
- ________________ (___ hours)
- ________________ (___ hours)

MOST VALUABLE AI INTERACTION THIS WEEK:
_________________________________________________

QUESTIONABLE OR CONCERNING AI ENCOUNTERS:
_________________________________________________

CRITICAL THINKING MOMENT:
When did you question or verify AI information?
_________________________________________________

CREATIVE/PRODUCTIVE USE:
How did AI enhance your learning or creativity?
_________________________________________________

DISCUSSION TOPICS FOR FAMILY:
_________________________________________________

NEXT WEEK'S GOALS:
_________________________________________________

Download printable checklists here…

AI and Kids Parent Checklist

349KB ∙ PDF file

Download

A weekly checkin and/or reflection is a great way to talk to kids about AI use.

Download

Resources for Continuous Learning

For Parents

• Internet Safety Labs 🌟» Big shout our to my friend Lisa Levasseur and the team at Internet Safety labs for the handy “nutrition label”-like reviews they collect for all apps

• Parent Coalition for Student Privacy 🌟» Another friend (Leonie Haimson) and incredible advocate for student privacy. Find articles here on in-school apps and, increasingly, AI driven innovation with privacy flaws

• Family Online Safety Institute (FOSI) » AI resources

• National PTA's Digital Safety Resources

For Children & Teens

• AI4K12.org » Organization that covers age-appropriate AI education

• Code.org's AI curriculum

• Khan Academy's critical thinking modules🔥» a fantastic approach to considering AI, highly recommend these modules for kids

Family Activities

• AI ethics board game night

• Family AI creative project (collaborative story, art creation)

• Media literacy challenges using AI-generated content

Final Recommendations: It’s Just the Beginning

1. Stay Updated » AI safety features change frequently; review settings quarterly. With the speed of AI innovation it’s not helpful unless families keep the conversation fluid and on-going.

2. Model Good Behavior » Do I really need to say it? Well, yes, because sometimes my husband and I struggle to model good digital behavior. But to demonstrate healthy AI usage patterns as adults is even more critical to shaping the influence of AI over our kids’ futures.

3. Maintain Open Dialogue » Keep conversations about AI non-judgmental. The biggest hinderance right now to AI adoption (for all of us!) is a fear of “looking stupid.” If we keep talking, we get over this faster!

4. Focus on Critical Thinking » Emphasize questioning and verification skills. Again, look for classes like that from the Khan academy and take critical thinking as seriously as other subjects.

5. Balance is Key » I may think about AI all day, but you certainly should not! Ensure AI use complements rather than replaces human interaction is probably the first, not the last, suggestion to be making here!

Remember that the goal isn't to restrict exploration but to provide appropriate boundaries that evolve as your child matures. By establishing these guardrails early and adjusting them thoughtfully over time, you're helping your child develop a healthy relationship with AI technologies that will increasingly shape their world.

Have questions? Feedback? Ideas! I want to hear from you.